Watch Me Burn
by AirJordan8
Summary: Collection of Jate/Suliet drabbles. Mostly Jate. Suliet chapters have "S:" before title.
1. Open Windows

_What the description says. Might turn it into a series of Post-The End Jate/Suliet drabbles later. Rating may also change if I do make more. Oh yeah and I don't own Lost._

Jack loved to sleep with the windows open. It was probably from his island days, when you slept on the beach and felt the ocean breeze through the cracks and flaps in your tent, but he always insisted the bedroom was too stuffy. He'd turn on the ceiling fan, open the windows and bring out more blankets if she complained she was cold.

Kate swore he'd regret it someday, when a burglar broke into their bedroom. He'd laugh and tell if that, if that ever did happen, he'd protect her. It was strange for her at first, most likely old habits from when she was on the run. But eventually, she looked forward to cuddling underneath the thick blankets with Jack. It was comforting to her, something safe, familiar and warm. Still, she'd tease him about it and, when he was staying late at work, she would fall asleep with them closed. They were always open when she woke, and Jack was snuggled up next to her.

So on her first night back, after Claire and Aaron are asleep, Kate opens the windows.


	2. The Lie

_So I have turned this into a series of drabbles and changed the title. I can't say that updates will come at any set time, just when I'm feeling creative. I will also take requests so message me/review if you've got an idea. In case you're wondering, Watch Me Burn is a lyric from Love the Way You Lie by Eminem ft. Rihanna. Great song btw._

_SULIET FANS: Future Suliet chapters will be marked with "S:". So if you want just Suliet, watch for the S's._

_**Time Period: **Post-The End_

_**Disclaimer: **Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof own Lost._

"Congratulations!" The grocery store cashier is obviously older than Kate, and strangely reminds her of Rose. The kind of woman who calls younger people "Honey" and probably has 20 grandchildren somewhere. The kind of woman who married her high school sweetheart 50 years ago and spends hours deciding what to put on the Christmas cards. The exact kind of woman who would notice the sparkling engagement ring on Kate's finger as she swipes her debit card. "When is the wedding?" She asks, eyes dancing and smiling so sickeningly sweetly at Kate, it's as if she's the one planning a wedding.

"Oh, um…" Kate forces a smile. "We haven't decided yet." Its a little game she plays, saying "we" and smiling as if the fact that this woman thinks she's happy will make it true. She's made an imaginary, blissful life for herself to display to the public. And she can count on one hand the people who don't get fed this story. She kept the ring in the bottom of a box, hidden safely in the closet, when she and Jack had broken up. She'd slipped it back on as a comfort, the little weight on her finger reminding her of better times, happier times. And once it was on her hand, she couldn't bring herself to take it off. So, it remains with her at all times. A little piece of _him_. She is Kate Austen, forever engaged.

"Well congratulations," she repeats. Kate wishes that she could just get the hell out of this store. The walls suddenly seem a little too close, the bright red signs above each register a little too bright. The beeping of her items being scanned is disturbingly similar to another annoying beeping, a reminder from another life. "Marriage isn't easy, trust me. I've been married 3 times." Kate can't even look at the woman now. She wants to scream at her for complaining, grumbling about something that Kate will never have, teasing her like the keys to her dream car are dangling right in front of her face. She can see them, she can hear them, but no matter how hard she tries, her fingers always fall just short of touching them. "But when you find it right man," she continues, "it's all worth it." Yes, Kate needs to get out of here. Right. Now.

Kate hastily snatches up her bags and rushes out of the store, not waiting for the woman to pryingly ask more questions about her and her fake wedding. She makes it to the car, slams the door, throws the bags down on the passenger seat (the fact that she just bought eggs is long forgotten) and promptly bursts into tears.

_Review? Please? *angelic smile* :)_


	3. S:Destiny

_Time for a little Suliet! I was listening to one of my mom's old songs called Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush. Most of it has no connection at all to Suliet or Lost but this one part made me think of them. It goes, "If I only could make a deal with God/And get him to swap our places"_

_Just a quick note: I started school last Tuesday, sophomore in high school, plus learning to drive and the fact that the school I go to has a reputation for the best in the state. So they don't hesitate to assign papers and tests on the first week of school. Ugh. So updates might be farther apart than they were in the summer. Sorry about that, just life._

_**Time Period:** Post-The End_

_**Disclaimer: **Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof own Lost._

Destiny is a fickle bitch. He guessed it before but now it's a fact, branded into his mind, never to be removed. Like the mark on her back. The one she'd gotten for helping him. He makes a mental note to beat Ben extra hard if he ever sees him again. He hopes he never gets the chance.

From the two of them, she was always the good one. He'd cheated more people than he could count; he'd murdered people he'd hardly even spoken to. He could die and wouldn't complain. He knew he deserved it. But Juliet, all she did was create life. She made life while he destroyed it. Yet he was the one sitting here, taking up space on this Earth. And she was the one who'd fallen down that godforsaken hole. Kate could be a sweetheart when she wanted to be, but it was never a contest between her and the Doc. But he was gone just as well. Because it was their _destinies_. And that's what destiny did. It ripped his better half right out of his arms and left him abandoned.


	4. Unconditional

_I am so sorry I haven't updated this in a while! I'm going to try and update every week now. I've just been super busy with school and sports. Plus, I've gotten way too addicted to Party of Five. I thought it was just going to be one of those cheesy 90's shows but its actually really good! (and Foxy is just...gorgeous as always)_

_**Time Period:** Post-SNBH_

_**Disclaimer: **Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof own Lost._

Jack had never known unconditional love. He's always felt he had to do well in school and get a high-paying job as a spinal surgeon to impress his parents. He'd spoiled Sarah with diamonds and necklaces and a lavish wedding.

Kate knew this, and she'd made it her silent mission to let him know that her love wasn't like theirs. It hadn't been easy (after all, Jack was pretty much the most stubborn person she's ever met) but he trusted her. And she'd been allowed to see parts of him that Sarah and his parents never had, learned things that no one but the two of them knew. They knew each other so well sometimes it scared her.

When they'd broken up, he'd gone back to his old rule of "unconditional love doesn't exist". Obviously her love did in fact have conditions, he thought, because she didn't love him now. He was wrong.


	5. S:One

_So sorry again! I had this chapter and another one ready to go about 2 days ago and I was going to upload this one then but my laptop decided it would be a great time to crash. Thanks, Bill Gates. Anyways, this was inspired by a quote from the second-to-last scene of Hurt Locker (which has a little Evie in it!) After this, I promise I will write something happy._

_**Time Period:** Post-The End_

_**Disclaimer: **Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof own Lost._

As you get older, you find less and less things to love. When James was a small child, he loved lots of things. He loved his parents, his toys, his friends at school. But slowly, those things were taken away from him. And through his teenage and young adult life, he had no attachments. Nothing to live for. No one to care about. He'd thought at the time that it was kind of nice, keeping a comfortable distance. Little did he know, he was suffering.

Then he'd met her, his lifeline. The one thing in his life that he loved. And, like the others before her, she too was stolen away from him.


	6. Safe

_Hello readers! I've decided that Post-The End all the time is too depressing. So I've gone back and revised the other chapters to state the time period, and added the time period to this one. It's more fluffly and cute than the others, even I can't write constant angst!_

_**Time Period:** Pre-SNBH_

_**Disclaimer:** Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof own Lost._

It was his idea to watch The Exorcist. She was sure of it. "You were the one who wanted to watch it," he told her, laughing. No way. Sure, it had been her idea to watch The Ring but not this time. He was wrong, because they both knew she was the one who got scared of movies like The Exorcist while he was the one who laughed at the bad special effects and acting.

Ever since she was child, she'd hated the dark. Every time the stairs creaked, she'd freeze, knowing that it was a drunken Wayne coming home and praying that he would head to his room instead of hers. She had about a 50/50 chance, she'd figured. And that 50% of the time that the odds were not in her favor only increased her constant terror while she lay in bed at night. Even when she got older and lived alone, on the run, that fear stayed with her. Little sounds in the night could mean police or maybe an intruder in her cheap motel room.

But not with Jack. Whenever she heard a sound downstairs that may or may not have been her imagination, even if he was already asleep, she could snuggle up closer next to him. And his instinctual, unconscious reaction was to tighten his grip on her. She wasn't sure how he did it, but when he promised her (even though he was smiling a little bit at the absurdity of it) that he wasn't going to let any demon children or girls coming out of TV screens hurt her, she trusted him.


	7. The Inconceivable

_I'm not going to spoil anything for anyone who might be watching/planning on watching Party of Five. But I'll just say that I just got to a really happy part for Charlie (Matthew Fox) so, while I was in a good mood, I jumped on the computer and wrote this. FLUFF WARNING! So anyways. This is kind of Suliet AND Jate. And Jawyer friendship. Yep. If that doesn't make for some serious fluff I dunno what does._

_**Timeline:** Post-The End (in the heaven type place or wherever you think they go after the church)_

___**Disclaimer:** Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse own Lost_

She'd never, not in her entire lifetime, thought that she'd never see Jack and Sawyer watching a football game together. Then again, she'd never thought she'd be making Thanksgiving dinner with Juliet. But now, of course now that she wasn't actually living, she was doing both.

Once in a while, when one of them had a moment of free time between chopping and cutting and running around the kitchen making sure everything was the right temperature, they would shout into the living room. Something like "aren't you two supposed to be setting the table?" or "they'll be here in an hour!" Jack and Sawyer had been sent into the living room with the task of getting the house clean and ready for the guests. But instead of fretting about the task of hosting Thanksgiving dinner, the boys had decided that the football game was far more important, taken some popcorn and who-knows-what-else and disappeared.

Yes, in less than an hour now, Sun, Jin, Locke, Charlie, Claire, Hurley, Libby, Ana Lucia, Shannon, Boone and Sayid would be at their house. Eating their food. Sitting in their living room. Just the thought stressed both Kate and Juliet out. And the occasional shouts of happiness or groans of frustration told them that they wouldn't be getting any help from their husbands anytime soon. But after a lifetime worth of arguments and complications and jealousy, neither of them had the heart to put a serious stop to their fun.


	8. What She Didn't Say

_Hey guys. Sorry about the wait, but I've been really busy. So from now on, this is just going to updated whenever I have the time to write. It's not an actual, on-going story, so hopefully this won't bother you guys too much._

_**Time Period:**Off-Island, but pre-SNBH_

_**Disclaimer:**Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse own Lost._

"You're in love with him, aren't you?" Cassidy was making that face that told Kate that it didn't matter what her answer was. Her mind was already made up, and the sole purpose of the question was to get Kate to admit to it. It, meaning being in love with a man she wasn't supposed to be in love with.

"Cass, I told you I'm not in love with Jack," she replied, repeating that same answer for what seemed like the 100th time in the past month. She could be an incredibly convincing liar when she had to be. Cassidy looked confused for a split second, and Kate wasn't even sure if she had imagined the puzzled look or not. But then she broke into a grin. She'd gotten the answer she wanted. "What?" Kate demanded.

"I was talking about Sawyer. You thought of Jack on your own."


	9. Unchained Melody

_Because I made you wait so long for the last chapter, I figured I'd give you two back-to-back. (That and I love Ghost :P) Enjoy!_

_**Time Period: **Season Two_

_**Disclaimer:**Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse own Lost._

"Dance with me." It was almost a command. Not that Kate was complaining. She obediently stood up and accepted his offering hand. "I mean, we're down here for 3 more hours, and what else are we supposed to do?" He was so cute when he tried to explain his advances.

She put a finger to his lips and shushed him. She'd always loved the song Unchained Melody, mostly because of Patrick Swayze. But her appreciation for the song was multiplied when Jack leaned down, placed his lips centimeters from her ear and quietly sang the words to her as they swayed.

_Oh my love, my darling_  
_I've hungered for your touch_  
_A long lonely time_  
_And time goes by so slowly_  
_And time can do so much_

_Are you still mine?_  
_I need your love,_  
_I need your love_  
_God speed your love to me._

His breath was hot against her neck and, when he gently pulled back after the chorus, Kate silently mourned the loss of heat. She tightened her grip around his neck, pulling his face down towards hers, and only inches away. Jack momentarily removed his right hand from it's place on her waist to carefully brush a strand of hair out of Kate's face, insisting on maintaining eye contact the entire time. Kate's heart was pounding harder than usual now, and she was becoming increasingly aware of the closing distance between their lips. She closed her eyes and...Kate woke up in her frustratingly familiar beach tent. Alone.


	10. Life

_SKATE ALERT! Yes, can you believe that I used to be a Skater? But remember that I've been to Skaters Anonymous and have been Skate sober for years, so please read all the way to the end before you decide I've crossed back over to the dark side._

_**Time Period:**Post The End_

_**Disclaimer:**Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse own Lost._

They'd been through an emotional roller coaster. She thought that term was overused but it was the only excuse she currently had for what they had done. (Mistakes they had made). Fresh from the island, the wounds it caused them still open and bleeding, not yet the scars of the past. They both needed something to get their minds of the people that they'd lost; desperate for relief that they both knew would never come. A connection that they knew would never exist for the two of them like it had with the people they'd never see or touch again.

They didn't even pretend, her and Sawyer. She swears she heard Juliet's name in there a couple times, but she probably said Jack's and she doesn't care. At least she has that. She can close her eyes and touch his stubbly face and pretend it's someone else's. And in return, he can call her Juliet as many times as he wants. (At least they both know what the point of that night was).

It's probably not long enough when she starts getting morning sickness. But to be perfectly honest with herself, she has absolutely no idea how much time has passed since they got back. It's a sunny Friday afternoon in southern California when Kate goes to the local drug store. And its 2 hours that she spends in her bedroom (that she wishes she was sharing), staring at the white plastic bag before she gets the nerve to actually go into the bathroom.

Then she spends what seems like 5 hours (but what's probably more like 5 minutes) doing anything but looking at the little stick. Kate's reaction to the 2nd pregnancy test she's ever taken is much like the first. However, instead of the reassuring blue minus sign from last time, there's a definite pink plus staring back at her.

Kate cries for a good hour at least, until Claire comes home and finds her curled up in a tiny ball on her bed and the life-changing piece of plastic on the bathroom counter. She does her best to console her "sister"; she goes to all the appointments and all the check ups but deep down she knows it's no use. Kate needs something she will never have. And the only person who can give that to her is long gone.

Kate goes the math one night, over and over in her head. She checks her numbers and her dates once more, just to be sure. And once more after that, confirming every digit with Claire. They check their work probably 5 times, until they're absolutely and positively sure.

Exactly 37 weeks and 4 days after he was conceived, the little boy (who Kate's positive hasn't inherited a single gene from her) is born. She names him Jack, after his daddy.

_My apologises for the lack of reality when it comes to pregnancy test results. I'm 15, all my knowledge of pregnancy tests comes from Juno!_


	11. Just Kidding

_No offense to anyone out there. I'm a teenager too, but I find the abreviations annoying._

_**Time Period:**Post The End_

_**Disclaimer:**Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse own Lost._

Kate hates teenagers. She knows that it's silly of her, because she was a teenager once too. But she can tolerate them hanging out around outside malls, their loud laughter in restaurants. The way they attract people's attention means less for her.

The thing that really gets her is the abbreviations they use. "Awks" and "probs". She wonders sometimes, if it really takes that much energy to say "awkward" and "probably". (And this thought never fails to make her feel older than her years) But the one that she absolutely cannot stand is "JK". Because when she hears "JK", "just kidding" is not what pops in her head.

…


	12. A Different Kind of Tragic

_I keep trying to write something happy, but it always turns sad! BTW, if you want me to continue, please review. A lack of reiviews means to me that people aren't reading anymore. _

_**Time Period:**Post The End_

_**Disclaimer:**Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse own Lost._

When Kate things of tragic love stories, she usually will come up with Romeo and Juliet, Rose and Jack from Titanic, or maybe Molly and Sam from Ghost. Or, if she's thinking about her own life: Sun and Jin, Hurley and Libby, Sayid and Nadia. It's then that she realizes that her life has far more tragedy in it than she was aware of. And all of these are absolutely heartbreaking, because they had so little time together. They were all kept apart, by death or family conflict or even time traveling. Something beyond their control. And when they finally did reach each other, something even more disastrous happens, and they are torn apart forever.

And then she replays every moment that these couples would give anything to have: a chance to see their loved one. She counts up every time that she knew she was hurting him, but was too careless to stop. Or all the chances that they had to fix things, to make amends.

And she knows that her and Jack are different. They are tragic because they had so many opportunities, and they wasted all of them.


	13. Dreams

_You might want to read Chapter 10/Life before reading this one. It's not absolutely necessary, but it might help. Anyways, sorry for not updating in like forever! I had a two week break from school, but was only home for 3 of those days (I took a trip to Mexico). So I made this one extra long to make up for it. But it's really late and I need to get some sleep, so I didn't read it over. Sorry in advance for errors!_

_**T**__**ime Period:**Post The End_

_**Disclaimer:**Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse own Lost._

Her little boy is a natural artist. He's got his daddy's concentration and skillful fingers, swapping out his scalpel and spreader for a pencil. Kate first noticed it when he was a ripe old five years old. She's setting his macaroni and cheese down at the table when she notices his paper is filled with an intricate sketch of a Han Solo action figure, which stands on the table in front of him. The proportions are a bit off, and the lines aren't exactly smooth, but it's no stick figure. She enrolls him in drawing classes the next week, and Wednesday becomes Jack's favorite day of the week.

His skills flourish under the instruction, and within a month he's in the 10-12 class. By the time he's 9, Jack has drawn the entire back yard and every toy he owns, and has moved onto people. His friends are awed, and beg him to draw them. He draws Kate too, with every different kind of tool he can find, before moving onto his Aunt Claire, Cousin Aaron and his Uncle Sawyer from Miami.

So she can tell he's been working very hard on one particular drawing, when he sits at the dining room table one day after school for over an hour, erasing and redoing over and over, until he's sure he's got it right. (He's also got his father's stubbornness and attention to detail). Kate goes to check on him, tell him it's almost time for dinner, ask him if he has any homework, when she sees his drawing. Her heart immediately stops, and when it starts up again it's thumping in her chest. Her palms get all sweaty, that familiar fluttering in her heart and the butterflies in her stomach like _he's_ actually here now.

Because smiling back at her from behind the page of her son's sketch book is her ex-fiancé, the reason she doesn't date much anymore, the man she wishes more than anything could have met his son. Her voice is hardly more than a whisper, and she's surprised she can even manage that as she begs the tears to stay away. She can't cry in front of him. "Who is that?" As if she doesn't already know.

Little Jack turns around, sensing something is wrong with his mother, staring up at her with those big brown eyes. _His_ eyes. "What's wrong?"

She shakes her head, blinking a few times to rid her eyes of that glossy, fragile look and kneeling to look him in the eye. "Nothing, baby. I just was wondering why you decided to draw him," she hopes that the change in her voice when she says "him" is undetectable, though she knows that's not the case. She knows he wonders about his father, wonders about the box of pictures that Kate keeps in her bedroom, only looking at when he's at his grandmother's because she can't stop the tears when she does.

Jack turns his eyes back to his illustration, the pencil still in his other hand as he picks the paper from the table to examine it, legs hanging off the side of his chair now. He shrugs, his young mind not comprehending why this mysterious man is so magnetic to him. "I don't know," he admits, "he's in my dreams sometimes, he has been since I was a little kid. Sometimes he's outside of the dreams, like when I'm sad. He talks to me, and I don't feel so sad anymore. Is that weird? Like crazy?" He asks, worried.

She smiles reassuringly back at him, silently envying her young son. "No, not at all, Jack. In fact, I have something I want you to see," she tells him, gently taking his hand and guiding him upstairs to her room.


	14. Wrong

_I'm back! If anyone is still reading this, let me apologize a million more times for my lack of updates. I've been ridiculously busy lately and I've *gasp* been watching another show. It felt like I was cheating on Lost at first, but X-Files was completely worth it and I highly recommend it. But I'm rambling now. Anyways. I've got finals coming up soon so I'm sorry (again!) to say this might be my last update for a while. OH! And yes, this is Jate. Read the whole thing if you don't believe me._

He's sure now that he's never seen anything so beautiful, as he watches her sleep peacefully and wonders if he's in love. The thought alone scares him, so he turns his attention back to the woman in front of him. Sawyer gently pushes a dark curl from her face, knowing deep down that he doesn't deserve this. Doesn't deserve her. Or any girl for that matter, after what he's done. She sighs in her sleep, and he looks on as a small smile graces her features. Maybe she's dreaming about me, he thinks to himself. The thought alone of Kate dreaming of him sends a shiver down his spine. Maybe love isn't so bad after all.

He vaguely remembers the way her face shone in the soft moonlight when she entered the tent and climbed on top of him. Tears. Why was she crying? At that exact moment, Kate sighs softly again and snuggles up closer to him in her sleep, sending Sawyer back into complete and utter bliss that he never thought himself capable of feeling.

But he is jolted out of his thoughts when Kate opens up her mouth again, uttering a word this time. A name. A single syllable that sends a thousand daggers straight into his heart. "Jack."

_I'll admit: I haven't watched Lost in a while. So I'm rusty. Hopefully it wasn't too horrible?_


End file.
